I work on an island in a place I couldn’t even locate on a map a year ago. And the longer I live, the more certain I am that I could have never written these chapters into my life on my own; I’m just not that creative.
About a week after moving home from Kenya, a good friend of mine who had recently visited the Maldives for work reached out and told me he'd met the in-house photographer for the resort he was at. He said she was looking for some temporary help with photography and videography and that I should look into it. I was just about to start looking for jobs state-side after transitioning back, but on a whim I decided it couldn’t hurt to go ahead send in a resume. Truthfully I wasnt thinking much would come of it, but my friends and I had decided we would be YES people, the type that give the thumbs up to the wild things life might throw our way. I figured it could be an opportunity to learn and grow in photography, while also getting to live in a completely different culture. I prayed that if it was for me that the door would be open, and if not, that I'd faithfully walk into the next open door.
It was a slow process and honestly I held it all quite loosely, figuring the door could close anytime. Two months later, when I finally got the “okay-lets get you here”, everything happened quite quickly. I was signing stuff for HR one moment, tickets were booked on Christmas Eve, and two days later I was headed to the Maldives. God sure has a sense of humor letting this graphic designer get a job in photography and video, and I think we're both still laughing.
I've been getting a lot of messages from people over the last week and a half saying something along the lines of, "wow that looks like the dream!" But I want to be 100% honest with you: it does feel like a dream! The place is absolutely stunning; I get to ride a bike to and from work, taste chocolates in the pastry kitchen when I get a free minute, and run around barefoot. Working in the Maldives is a absolute gift that I am incredibly undeserving of. But I also want you to know there is a lot that happens behind the adventures and instagram pictures that isn't easily captured through a lens. And it isn’t always pretty.
Why? Because transition is hard. Leaving good things and people and freedoms is hard. And not knowing exactly what awaits you on the other end of the flight can be quite daunting. It can be exhausting uprooting when you feel like you’ve got some good soil. But sometimes it's what we feel asked to do.
A few weeks before leaving, I was so nervous I couldn’t sleep. I called my best friend Emily at 2 am crying. She let me process out loud through tearful words and a few laughs mixed in. She helped me talk out my fears through the filter of Truth, because Truth births courage to believe that God can be trusted no matter what happens- good or bad. Truth reminds us that we’re simply not in control, and my goodness do I so often want to be in control.
While I'm really good at being Alexia- a flawed little human who is just trying to get it right, He's really really good at being God, the wildest author- insanely good at writing stories, who holds this whole messy world together perfectly, and who can certainly be trusted.
But my heart is forgetful, and this was only one of many conversations with a few different friends before leaving. Each sat and listened to the fearful bits of me that kept believing I was making some kind of silly decision to up and leave yet again. And each time I was placed right back on the path of truth, reminded there's good work to be done, and that this wasn't so much about right or wrong, just a yes or no to an open door. I'm convinced that surrounding yourself with Truth-tellers and cheerleaders is the second best thing you can do.
You'd think by now I'd be used to transition, but I'm not sure it ever gets easy. I've learned that I'm my ugliest self during big transitions- an uptight human that feels as foreign as my surroundings, grasping for some kind of stability those first few weeks, and constantly having to remind myself that Grace is real and necessary and one of the sweetest gifts- abundantly given by Jesus, but also a thing we must offer to ourselves. And then accept it.
But let me tell you what, I wouldn't trade this life for a minute. And saying yes to wild and scary things is worth it friends! Any opportunity to learn, and grow and be challenged, or dependent on something other than yourself is always an opportunity worth taking. We have absolutely no idea where one 3 letter word can take us, and the amazing people it'll allow us the cross paths with. Hard things and good things can be one in the same, and though our stories may look quite different, I hope that 2018 is a year of YES for you, full of risks, and awe, a little failure, and so much love!
Micah, Hannah, Emily, Tuwa, Allison, Jess- a thousand times thank you!
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